Why Elves Must Die
Mmm...Doom
“This place reminds me of Santa’s workshop, except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.” – Elf (2003)
I think that most people would agree that when they think “MMO,” the thought of “elf” isn’t too far behind. It’s an understandable association seeing as the platform has been plagued with elf-infested MMOs for about a decade now. Getting the MMO gamers to accept games beyond the standard elf-riddled class-restricted level-based quest-centric game design has been a hurdle and a half. Who’s to blame for that? Well, there’s plenty that can be placed on the shoulders of both developers and gamers, but we’re not going to go there. Where I will go, though, is to the land of donkey-eared emo bastards we know as Elves. That is where the majority of the blame goes for the reduction of this bold new platform to a boring single-genre freakshow.
Elves are a safe bet for both devs and players. Players know what to expect and devs know what those expectations are. Fantasy is comfortable. Breasts, bows and magic don’t really change much from game to game, and there is a certain safety in that. We need to move past that safety. We need to go beyond the comfort of what we have and explore new horizons. Yes, I know that many of those horizons have been a $50 dive into a virtual world of unadulterated SUCK, but with over 300 MMOs out today, you can boldly go to new worlds, learn new manners of combat and experience countless new variations of breasts.
The two main types of blogs that I will be posting on this site are
- Overviews and reviews of various lesser known MMOs, and
- Game Design blogs that take a look at how certain designs and mechanics added that something extra to a game
I’m hoping readers will share their views on those two topics as well – discuss the MMOs they’ve found to be fun and write about the game mechanics they’ve found that made games more entertaining for them.
I think that by doing so we will be able to send Elves back to the bowels of the deep dark angsty layer of Hell that spewed them onto the MMO scene a decade ago. It’s a lofty dream, but it’s mine.
- John “Loktofeit” Albano
